This has been a roller coaster of emotions, probably made more dramatic with the reality of my own diagnosis in the background. the highs higher and the lows, well, you get it.
 |
| David E. Anderson Sr. |
My perspective is MY perspective, we all have our own. The loss of David resonates with me on many different levels. During the funeral times, I was mostly focused on the boys and their reactions, trying to be there for them when needed but let the grieve together and alone. Then I identified with the loss, thinking about my own diagnosis five weeks after his, the parallel that aren't parallel. But similarities make me aware on a much different scale. And then came the whammy of having to deal with my own grief with the loss I was married to, had children with, and lived the better part of my life. I, too, feel a hole in my heart and a blank space where there always was a supportive partner.
I am working through these emotions, they will not be dealt with easily, nor should they be. The boys are having their own transitions and concerns which I am not able to patch and make better! Mother's instincts don't die, but I am doing my best.
And then, three weeks later, as a total surprise, my dear friends, Christina and Gil Ahrens became my dear friend Christina. One moment laughing and planning for the future, the next, Gil was gone.
 |
Gil Ahrens
|
Emotionally, these events have taken a toll on my psyche and perhaps my physical well being, for the moment. The strength of a positive attitude is clear. My last visit to the Doctor resulted in a recommendation for a chest X-ray to check for pneumonia - which turned out NOT to be there, and a cessation of my Chemo for a week because the white blood cell count was low.
I need to bring back the positive power and get those white cells up! I can do it, and will. It's just so easy to fall into a pit of sadness.
 |
| Chocolate splurge on our "getaway" |
I am very blessed with good friends who care, a husband who has great patience with me and keeps me busy doing some pretty fun things. He is my strength and rock when I need it. Although he doesn't understand some of sensitivities and over thinking of things, he allows it, which is all I could hope for. Between these two sadnesses, we were able to get away and have some glorious adventures.
