GOOD NEWS

First Daffodil spotted at
Trader Joe's

        Good News

December and January were full of trials and tests.  Can I tell you how much I dread another MRI.  Loud, uncomfortable lots of banging..l.. sounds like the machine is going fall apart any minute.  Why is that one so loud??  But then again,  I am still having them.

MRI and CAT SCAN were last week,  Dr. visit today and all reports are good,  numbers are good indicators.  Although the last 6 weeks were supposed to be event free, i am hesitant to believe these. next six will be.either... but that’s what the Mass General has scheduled for me and I am hopeful.  I am going to concentrate on building.  strength and endurance, both of which are on the low scale.

I have a strong motivation for my efforts and that is there should a new Anderson baby girl born the end of March.  As all of you can imagine,  I am beside myself with joy and anticipation.  More information will be released as we proceed!  I ask for patience and understanding as this hearing thing is far from over and will always be a disability in this fast paced world of.communicationsll

I do apologize for my brevity here, and my lack of use of the telephone;  my hearing is stil bad and I fear I am becoming an hermit,  write if you will.

Seeing is belielving.

No Joke - this not hearing thing is a possible for real.  I was going along with the quiet imagining that it was a vacation from responsibilities.  Positive attitude and all.  The ringing in the ears and the banging are continuing... not so funny any more.  Socializing is painful, trying to separate voices and align them with a person in the group.  I find it easier to sit back and watch the body language.  There's a lot of information there.  Perhaps work on my writing skills.  I know I'll keep busy as long as I am somewhat strong and alert.
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Went to a new  physical training course that was recommended today.  I had to move away from the swimming for awhile because of the ear and hearing.  This one didn't work out too well, but I will try again next week - They sold out of harmonica's before I had a chance to buy one!

Tomorrow and over the weekend I am going to work on my FaceTime persona!  I have not been able to talk on the phone because I can't hear or discern inflection.  I talked with son John tonight for the first time in 2 months !!!  It was getting very frustrating no communication.  Totally different.

There were those of you who tried to call and wish me "happy birthday" who  didn't realized had called.  Either John or I told you I couldn't talk to you.  it wasn't personal, i really couldn't.  I hadn't recycled on those calls to explain.  Only now, with Facetime, can I . read your lips and have the ability to understand some of what you are saying.  It's a great relief to me and I apologize to any that feel  was being rude.

Communication is difficult, and when it's just one sense-less it can be impossible.

Is this life without ADHD?

Two weeks without hearing a shout out for me to, ni ine has been irritated that I'm not inchargeNo ones looking to ME to anounce and corral people for the next activity - and I have let myself off of that hook.  With ADHD I felt I was always a first responder no matter how uneccessary or inappropriate.

I have, instead focused on my lists and am making incredible progress.  Mind you, still in my ADHD ways,  interupts are plentiful from just my brain.  Right now i am distrated by the need to get something cold to drink. I could do that and forget where I am here. That can happen anyway and this is a good break...this time I will not get disracted by any noises and might get right back!

What is healing of this addled mind and this stricken body... and the wonders of modern medicine. that have given me this day.  the healing is going along, hope my social engagement goes allright. Although I managing to find Joy in solitude,  I really need friends.

The joys of Neuro-Diversity all within one self.  Thanks John Robison for awakening me to new possibililities.

Welcome a New Year with Lots of Promise

So much emotion is involved with the passing of an annual event and a season supposed to be all love and light,  but when the stars are out of orbit and you are out of tune with those around you (meaning I am out of tune) it is time to exit the game and take a time out.  So that's what I did and it turned out to be a good thing.



I have always had most of my family with me at Christmas and wasn't accepting that they are grown., with their own destinations.  No more Santa Clause.   I finally gave up on being with them, or controling them to be with me, and focused on other significant blessings of my life, namely the DeWeese family.  I retreated with John to the Thomas DeWeese's where children, puppies and  amazing food made it feel right.

Then.... there is always the "then" I went back to trying to patch a patch, right a wrong, make up for passed mistakes, try to make a Christmas.  That didnt work.  Things got worse and started involving more family members.  My famiy was imploding - or exploding.  Bits were angry all over the country.  The more  tried, the weaker I got.  Finally, I had to retreat and was caught up by Dr. John.  I walked at that crooked stance old people get when their back gives over to one side.  Mine has been doing that.  it only gets worse.  I was developing achey knots in my muscles- couldn't reach the ground to pick anything up...the the headache started... Until December 31 My right ear drum ruptured ... it started spewing  liquid (pink),  that didn't stop for 4 days. 

Beethoven  1968

So here's the sunshine in the story..  you have to look for it ...  things in my family started to mend! NOT because they were worried about me - John hadn't told them - It happened later when i couldn't hear anything for weeks,   I still cannot hear - it's getting better but no phone conversation!

I hate to say this, but I have enjoyed this time of "quiet",  It is getting lonely but John is good company.  Don't have to answer the phone, no reason.  Don't need to entertain (although John can handle a whole table in conversation which is good to know!) . No deadlines when people are waiting to talk to me - it's relaxing.

The new year is begining on a quiet note and i like that,  The gearing up for holidays is for many at different times of our lives.  I may say I am very happy with my life today, at the MOMENT,  This silence takes a lot of the ADHD nerves away!

all I can say is NEW YEAR descriptive undecided...write your own

Where to go with All this roller coaster.  thie truly is a struggle and I coun=ldn't do it without my dear band.  I'm just going to tell the tale.

Christmas has meant a lot to me over the years. I think I can remember almost everyone and that’s a lot.  Some stand out more than others. All in all they have been very joyful holidays.

New Years Eve we were to have dinner with friends - they great cooks and good friends.  Hard for John to relinquish the frying pan.  Around noon i had the largest earache but was medicating and hoping.  Got dizzier and pain got worse - we're talking a 10 here.   Then that  ear decided to become Niagra Falls.  I kid you nooot.  I called John and told him "my water burst".  Like any good husband he came right homw, cancelled our  plans, and we were off to the Hospital.

I have a few friends left from this insane saga that are coming  by.  i havent seen anyone in two weeks...be back'

Happy 2020. I can see clearly now

HAPPY NEW YEAR.  







Christmas decorating at the DeWeese  Anderson home may not have been inspirational but this was the "ellf on the shelf;  A bit of a statement on our corner and easy instalation.  What's the phrase "one and done"?


Christmas, like Thanksgiving we celebrated with Thomas, Sue, Mathew and Morgan DeWeese...a cozy warm time,  More on that in another Blog, maybe.

I can’t remember the last time i was this sick on New years Ever.  Horrendous ear infection thar resulted in a ruptured eardrum.  8 hours in the emergency room and much pain, later, i am happy to say good bye rto 2019.  And maybe this experimental drug i am on.

Meanwhile, reporting in after such a long absence from blogging deserves some comments on why and updates on conditions, and that is what I am attempting to do.  John is busily putting away our Xmas decorations that John and I enjoyed,  including the 6 foot Santa he bought (me) for the front porch.  We made it through the holiday’s unlike any i have ever experienced.  

Medically, so far, all reports of the success of my treatments have been “good”. We have made adjustments on dosage as symptoms and side affects vary every few days.  The unpredictability of where I’ll be each day keeps me from making or completing committments.  The is out of character for me and upsets me so I dropping most the commitments to stop disappointing people.  Curious side effect of that is, the number of communications i get from others has diminished significantly!  I understand that relationship.  But from my Children?  You know who you are!

Many thoughts on Christmas’s past, the importance of family, friends, traditions have mulled through this mind during these holiday months.   The desire to be together - or is it guilt - at the holiday season.  It’s only a day?  

Is it only a day ??  Of course it isn’t.  It is a holy day when people around the world join their hearts and their love to pray, sing, rest, rejoice with hope and thanksgiving, that somehow, someway we are here, right now, today, to make someone else a little happier, spread a little joy and realize that we are not alone, and not matter what, that we are not alone, makes this journey worthwhile.  It only takes a hand to hold, a smile, a twinkle in the eye, one word,

If you missed it at Christmas, i don’t think it’s too  late.

That being said... Let a new year begin.

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