A DIFFICULT SUMMER

Tyler arrived the day after the brain diagnosis

It’s been a crazy summer. Since the discovery of the spread of the cancer,  we have alternated between retreats  to the Adirondacks and Doctors appointments. My time has been concentrated on family, both mine and John's.  I have had little energy to spend with the friends that have supported me thus far, and who I treasure.  I have truthfully felt that I have not been the best of company.  Frequent naps have helped me through these times. 

Davey a few weeks later to see me and his nephew William

With the realization of   changes in my condition,  the boys   have been visiting and spending wonderful time with me.  It has been exhausting as I have not felt like myself for the passed two months.  Not to mention frightening.  Combine this with  over 20 days planned with the DeWeese family for reunioning around a wedding as well as at Raquette Lake,  my energy was zapped.  I felt I only had the strength to deal with family - and not very well at that.  All the various medications,  combined with the strong, intense radiation left me quite nauseous and quite dizzy.  Only in the last few days can i truly say i feel like myself.  I hope it will last.

John enjoying lobster on our visit to Boston

Will, William and
KA joined us at the lake along with Tyler an Jamie

John Anderson also sneaked out from Boston a couple of times and we visited him in Boston - so all four made their love felt!  5 including John D.

John took me for two nights to "The Point" - a marvelous secluded Adirondack retreat for recuperation - skinny legs and a wig-hat!

Tomorrow I have an appointment at Mass General in Boston to see what the options are from here and if any sound feasible to me and John.  We remain hopeful,  although this new brain stuff is a game changer.  It has removed some of the options that had been on the table and we are getting into more uncharted water.  With renewed strength of the moment,  I am becoming more positive and hopeful.  Again,  we will be taking this in small steps with milestones to keep me going.   I realize how blessed I am with those that share this journey with me.

UPDATE - research continues with a new drug for the ROS 1 gene treatment of my type of  cancer with a search to find something affective not only on the lungs but also for the spreading to the brain which is what I am facing.  There is another option of treatment available.  There are many "Possible" side effects with this and the recommendation is to continue the   treatment I have been on until something changes.  They will monitor more closely for changes - more frequently.  It is great news that there is a next option!  I am staying strong as a lot of my energy has returned and the nausea has subsided some. 

Moving forward

 Six weeks later.... after two weeks of brain radiation and four weeks of recovering from that,  The MRI reported back that the radiation did what it was supposed to do. The lesions are not growing they have actually shrunk and seem to be stable.   Hopefully they will remain that way for a long time!  And for today things are still improving.  I feel I can start making some plans for the next month at least.

I have kind of gone underground during this period of time and John and I have a lot of time up at the lake.  We have concentrated our time with different families. Most of my strength has been dedicated to family And recovery. We have returned home basically for doctors appointments and color selection on the House.  ( There is a crew at the house working diligently to repaint it !  New colors...at least 5!)

 I am at the lake right now and limited in what I can put into the blog so I will sign off and resume more when I get home .    Thanks for your concern and support .

Thank you for your thoughts

Thank you for your thoughts, I am having difficulty communicating but truly appreciate your sincerity . Typing texting not working too well at this moment but will hopefully recovery soon . I feel like I have aged 10 years in a week I am unstable on my feet and turned into a drop things from my right hand . They say this is the result of the brain lesions and the radiation treatments be patient with me and know that I love you and appreciate your support . Your kind words mean a lot to me

predictive changes

My positive progression has had a long streak. The adoption of Lucretius has been a welcome challenge to our lives and loves. As with any new puppy he has his own special challenges. we are all learning how to get along and he is a Pure Judy who loves to play,

as we are getting ready to spend more of the summer at the lake we have decided to take no more large trips on the schedule. Instead we are focusing on nesting and improving our Victorian home. Phase 1 is almost complete as we have ripped up the gardening around the house and replanted, I will finally have some perennials to play.

Phase 2 is much more ambitious as we are planning to paint the house - have painted-and change up the colors. This is a bold step but I am excited to see the next step.

  This is a game changer. We all knew when the saga started that there were going to be many ups and downs. I have been blessed with 2 1/2 years of relatively little encumbrances to my survival and general health. It appeared to be a miracle and I enjoyed every minute of it as did my husband John. It was the story of victory and
success and fighting and staying positive.

Please forgive me for not calling each of you individually, but I just couldn’t . You have been loyal and concern friends and I needed to share.

That fight is not overdifficult right now but I am not giving up. I need more knowledge of what the future holds in store and where the elements of health can be found. I will be looking for and with your encouragement, prayers love,and hope, to continue my Lucky streak.

So here’s the story my cancer has metastasized into my brain. There was a possibility of this happening according to the statistics from the chemo that I had been taking. Dr. Rathmann did not encourage doing MRIs until there were some indication of a problem. That indication came in the last couple weeks when I was having problems concentrating, remembering things, and with manual dexterity. Thoughts of Alzheimer’s ran through my head as did the fear of brain tumor.

It took a lot of courage to call Rathmann and ask for an MRI. An MRI got scheduled immediately and I spent the whole day in St. Francis going through a battery of tests and and imaging and then consulted with my doctors. When all my doctors ascended on the run together I knew I was in trouble . Multiple lesions were discussed, possible causes, variety of courses that could be taken now and down the line. Two phrases that stood out were “this is very serious” and “we are not sure.

There was clearly no time to hem and Haw over the next steps. I was immediately begun on a regimen of 10 days of radiology to be followed by re-evaluated tests. During that time and for at least a month I will not be able to drive. And not until the two weeks has passed will they be able to chart my next course.

When John told Will where we were going he immediately called Tyler who bought a ticket to come here and be with me. That truly touched me but also petrified me. He has already been a great help and encouragement and accompanied me on a few Dr. trips. Brother John is coming in next week for a few days. Then we are off to the lake for the Fourth of July. Keeping busy is Essential right now. I am very lucky for that. David Junior will be here the next week.

Side note this is exactly three years to the day of their father’s initial diagnosis

Mentally processing this series of events is very taxing.

An emotional memorial

This last week was very bitter sweet. An amazing family gathering in Steamboat Springs, reminiscing over good times shared by the Anderson boys and two of David’s closest friends.  One year after his death, we honored his memory with 4 days of enjoying the Steamboat Springs.

Will, John Davey
Bob Vasko, Tyler, Greg Furda

Tyler and Will organized the outting, renting a house in town for all of us, and a supherb day of fishing on the Yampa.  EVERYONE was successful and caught at least one fish.  More memories to add.

The four sons floated a section of the Yampa north of town while Leigh, Greg, Bob and John and I waded in the icey waters of the Yampa south of town.  

Davey

Johnny

Will

Boys floating

Tyler

Bob Vasko

Leigh Furda with guide
she and Greg caught the most fish

Dr. John

Me

Tuesday the "guys" headed up

Sarvis Creek, another favorite spot of David's, to bid the final formal farewell to the father and friend lost way too early.

The house was well equiped and since we had so many good cooks,  we ate very well every night right at home.  Weather was beautiful and Spring was in full bloom.  

Leaving Steamboat and the four boys was a bit wrenching for me.  So many wonderful memories for so many years, coming to a close...  at least for the time being and with David Sr. making the trip with us.  

In the Yin and Yang of life,  the next planned family trip will be to officially welcome a new member to the Anderson family as Tyler and J'mie will marry.  I am so looking forward to celebrating that event.

Going Forward

When I lost Gracie, I was convinced I would not own another dog - bringing to an end a life long succession of dogs. With a shortened personal planning cycle - 3 months - I didn't feel it would be fair to a dog.  Developing a new relationship only to have it fall apart before it even developed.  (I actually had a bit of the same thoughts about new friends - but that's another story. )

As time has progressed and I am still here and in relatively good health - excellent health - I am feeling more confident about the continuation of my story.  Not having a dog left a large hole in my feeling of my house being my home. 

John and I spent some time pondering the pros and cons of having another dog. John has really never owned a dog before, but loved Gracie. Through a series of serendipitous events, we found ourselves near to the kennel where I got Gracie, and they had an older puppy available... so we went to look. Serendipitously, the dog seemed close to perfect... and made the drive back home (10 hours) with no mishaps.

This was not to continue. A couple of days of adjustment threatened to turn into months and I seriously questioned the decision.  Blessed with John's patience and the help of a couple of trainers, we are on a good track now and have decided to keep him.  We are now embracing him with open arms.  I know this is a very worthwhile venture. 

 I let John name him - a simple name that rolls off of the tongue... So I now introduce you to . LUCRECIUS named after the Epicurean Roman poet.  It is, I am sure, a name he will grow into!

Lucrecius with the Daffodils

Nine months old, 43 pounds and hopefully nearly finished growing.  Golden Doodle.  Friendly, gentle, follows closely, plays "fetch" with the tennis ball...

Keep your fingers crossed that he will continue to be as even tempered and willing to please.  

and that we will have many years of fun together.

Two Years! And people said it wouldn't last!

In one week John and I will be celebrating out two year wedding anniversary!  Seeing these Daffodils poke their heads up through the ice and snow today is a beautiful sign for me - more than ever.  Two and a half years ago,  I made the hopeful act of planting daffodils thinking it was possible I wouldn't see them bloom.  BUT I DID!  John and I got married and set out to enjoy as much of whatever time we were blessed to have together.  Two years later... we still are!  I am so thankful for each day and the treasures they have brought me.  I continue to be amazed.

John and I just returned from Colombia visiting his Colombian family who circumstances brought into his life some 20 plus years ago.  Out of kindness on both sides,  the relationship of these two families is enviable and beautiful.  John's eldest son joined us for parts of the trip.  The welcome of the two daughters, son and parents was beautiful and the product of many years of close friendship.  I felt fortunate to be included and thrilled to see such warmth and dedication.  Colombia is a country in flux, and right now is a great place to visit.  There is much to learn there. 

The continuation of a long time friendship and family relationship had, frankly, concerned me when I have felt so "temporary" myself.  I felt like the "x".  Not the x-wife,  but the X in algebra - the "place holder."   The closeness of the two families has continued through decades - and there was another woman there with John - who was actually most influential in the creation of the closeness.  As the woman who is now at John's side,  and who felt quite "temporary" in that position,  I felt like the x.  Two plus years after the diagnosis,  I don't feel so much like the "x" and am starting to have a little of my own "history" here.  It was wonderful to be part of another page or chapter in the bond between the families and continued mutual affection that has been built.  It was a great trip - and an amazing reality that I feel much more alive than I have. 

John and I spent a couple of days after the visit with the Gomez's in Cartegena by ourselves.  It was truly a magical time.  We stayed in the Old city at the Casa Saint Augustin.  Our room was amazing and it was tempting to just stay in and Google the history of the area!!!    But we ventured out, learned some history, were amazed at the building outside of the Old Town,  and had some incredible meals. 

our own pool with privacy~

dinner outside of the Old Town using it as a glorious backdrop.

Going forward - I am much more open to looking at a longer horizon that I had been - which sometimes scares me.   I do not think about my "disease" as frequently as before, and am even daring to think farther into the future than three months.  

this continues to be an amazing journey.